Rules for Synagogue

Jamaica Kincaid's poem "Girl" sets the guidelines for a girl living in a different society. She sets the boundaries that cannot be crossed and defines the girl's role in her community. Following Kincaid's footsteps, I wrote a poem defining the roles of a woman in synagogue from my eyes. I have never been one to view religion as an important part of my life, though my dad tries to change that every day. It seemed that as I grew up, I noticed that the people attending my temple had different motives. They didn't come to pray to God, but to prove to everyone else that they were a "good Jew". Temple came to be more of a competition, who can dress up the nicest, hold the best appearance. This is my take on Kincaid's poem, set in my temple.

Lay your clothes out the night before; be sure to open a new pair of stockings; scan your clothing for wrinkles, don’t ever show up with wrinkled clothes; wake up early to shower; this is how you put on your stockings without getting a run; this is how you make sure your outfit is nice enough; spend extra time on your hair and makeup, appearance is everything there; arrive ten minutes early for silent prayer; arrive twenty minutes early for meaningless conversation; arrive half an hour early for people-watching; grab a Siddur gently and hold it close to you; but what if I don’t want a Siddur; you always want a Siddur, and if you don’t, pretend you do; this is how you walk into services; this is how you choose the right seat; this is how you pretend to pay attention to the other members; this is how you answer their questions with a smile; this is how you pretend to care when they talk to you; this is how you prepare to sit down for four hours straight; this is how you stop yourself from falling asleep; this is how you can fidget with no one seeing you; this is how you count the tiles on the ceiling without making it too obvious; this is how you pretend to pray; this is how you sneak out to the bathroom; don’t ever have a bored look on your face; this is how to catch your friend’s attention; this is how you can smile at her without the rest of the congregation noticing; and this is how you watch her smile back without getting in trouble; this is how you hide your envy of the people leaving temple early; and this is how you glance at your watch without your dad noticing; and this is how you act when you get up to leave; and this is how you say your final prayer; but what if I don’t want to pray; you were not raised to be the girl who doesn’t want to pray.